Nov 20, 2016


My love language.

I've long said that my love language is acts of service.  This is mainly because this is what I tend to default to, when I'm wanting to show love.  Throughout our marriage, I've made a habit of trying to anticipate what Barbara might want or need done, and do it for her.  When I'm  home before her and the house is messy, I try to imagine what she'll see when she walks in the door and then try to create a soothing, orderly picture for her.  I've always felt the best way to show someone love is to do for them what you would want done for yourself.

That said, when it comes to receiving love. . .it's not so clear cut really.  Words of love mean a great deal to me, and make me feel all warm inside. Physical connection is vital to me.  I appreciate receiving gifts.  And of course spending time together is wonderful also.  The key for me in identifying the love language I best receive love in would be to consider whether the absence of one language invalidate the others.  For me that happens with three of the languages:  time, acts of service, and physical touch.  I would feel incomplete with a marriage in which I hear words of love, we spend time together, she does things for me, and gives me gifts, yet we never touch each other.  If I hear loving words, we spend time together, we are affectionate, and she buys me gifts, and yet she never lifts a finger to help  me, I don't think I'd feel loved.  And finally, I don't know that it's even possible to not spend time together and have all of the other four love languages.  Words of love--at least meaningful ones--and physical touch can't happen in a meaningful way without time together.

So I guess that leaves words and gifts as the odd ones out. I feel like the other four would make the loving words implicit.  And, while I always appreciate gifts,  I don't know that I'd feel unloved if I rarely or never received gifts but experienced the other four consistently.

This is all moot for me though, because I'm lucky enough to share my life with a woman who regularly showers me with all five love languages.  With Babs, I have always felt loved.  I am a lucky man!

"And I feel loved 
Do you feel loved?"

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