I'm actually pretty good at air guitar (Aren't we all?) But I've always wished that I could play the actual guitar. I love music. As you may recall, the perfect song is one of things that makes me really happy. So for someone who enjoys music as much as I do, to not be able to actually play any music is kind of sad.
It's not that I even need to be "great" at it. I don't have a longing to create amazing, original songs. I've never fantasized about writing music--I can't even fathom how musicians do it. I don't think I've ever imagined an original melody (not a good one anyway) in my head. I just want to be able to play what other people have written. I don't wish I was in a world-famous band (though it does sound fun), but I wouldn't mind being able to be in regular not-famous band, to help out with praise and worship on Sabbath. To be able to lead worship in my own home (I've always hated singing without accompaniment during worship--excepting those awesome acapella moments when the band cuts out and the whole audience sings along together). I wish was good enough to learn to play the songs I love.
But the truth is, I've had opportunities and I squandered them all. My grandmother taught me piano when I was a child, but I got bored of it and quit. Nobody forced me to keep playing whether I wanted to or not, and I kind of wish they had. During high school, I took a semester of piano, but again did nothing else with it after the class was over. In college I briefly took guitar lessons--but that also didn't take. Most recently, when we moved to Ohio, my mother bought me a guitar as a birthday present. It's the one you see pictured above. I got a book of chords and decided I would at least teach myself some chords so that I could play for my children during family worship. I didn't follow through on that either. The chord book is in the closet, the guitar sits in a corner in its case, with a broken string, gathering dust.
This is one of the great wishes of my life, that I could just play effortlessly. And therein lies the rub. It's not effortless. At least not at first. Effortless playing has to be earned through, well. . .effort. And I just have never been willing to pay the cost. I still tell myself that one of these days I'll finally do it--finally learn to play. In the meantime, there's always the air guitar.