The Dickie Morgan Makeover

"Dickie Morgan" Before (Circa 1987), Pictured with girlfriend "Tiffy Leapalong"

"Dickie Morgan" after (Circa 2007) Pictured with a person he claims he used to date; She disputes the claim.

Sunday morning, the day of our REAL Christian Theater dinner theater fundraiser. The phone rings and it’s Grant. He's been sick all weekend, and now he's called to say he’s still pretty sick and won’t be able to make it to our dinner show performance that night. Aloud, “I say, hey it’s okay, we’ll work it out. Get better soon.”

Inside I was cryng “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

What were we going to do? Grant had one of the major roles in the dinner show, that of the ultra-arrogant and annoying Dickie Morgan! Who were we going to replace him with? I tried my friend Dan, a professional actor. He couldn’t do it. That only left one person: me. I knew the play well, having helped Keisha direct it during the rehearsals. I could use the script but hopefully I’d be familiar enough with the lines to not have to read them all. There was the little detail of me looking nothing like Grant, but we’d have to let that slide.

I frantically started studying the lines. I’m afraid I wasn’t much help to Carol and Britni during the set-up and decoration. I was too busy studying lines like mad.

In the end it turned out great though. I actually ended up not having to use the script at all, and I don’t think I missed a single line. And playing Dickie was FUN! It was really fun to play such an obnoxious, conceited fellow, to say and do all kinds of bombastic things I would never say or do in real life. I had a blast!

Herewith a description of REAL Christian Theater’s fundraising dinner show, Class Reunion, as described in the voice of the character I played, Dickie Morgan:

"The Charmer" at work. Here I am chatting up some alumni. Note how their attention is totally riveted on me. This happens with me a lot. Personal magnetism, I guess.

As you can see from the pictures above I’ve changed quite a bit since high school. I know it’s hard to believe that a guy as good-looking and popular as I was in back in the day could actually get better. But there you have it. The pictures don’t lie. Time has been good to Dickie Morgan, what can I say. You can see that I have gotten a great tan. . .this is because I’m now based out of Hawaii. I own and operate a very successful food franchise business there, as you may have heard. We’re just raking it in, to be honest with you. And that’s what it’s all about isn’t it folks? Making the big bucks. We’ve got an operation in Oahu now and plan to open a second location in Kauai by the end of this year. I’m sure you noticed how trim I look. Amazing isn’t it? What happens to most ex-football players as they enter middle age? I’ll tell you what happens! They get fat. But not me. I work out daily in my personal gym in my home—actually in both my homes—the one in Hawaii AND Manhattan. And despite what you may think, especially looking at my facial features—no, there was no plastic surgery (to speak of). That’s just those amazing Morgan genes. Those of you with a discerning eye were probably looking at that jacket I’m wearing and thinking, “Hey, isn’t that Armani?” And, hey! You’re right it is! Lucky for me, with my business success, buying Armani is like shopping Wal Mart is for most you. I figure, here am I a successful, wealthy businessman, I might as well look the part, you know what I’m saying?

"Workin' the Room" That's me and Simon at the Reunion. Class of '87, baby!

Mrs. Stonecipher and Gina Gofar (Above left back in 1987, and above on the night of the Class Reunion)

So in this play, I fly back—first class of course--to Looneyville High School—Go LEMMINGS! YEAH!—where I was captain of the football team and went All State my senior year—WHAT’S UP FOOTBAAAAAAALLLLLL! YEAH!! I saw my old my teammates and tons of old girlfriends. Of course everyone remembered me, but I have to admit I couldn’t remember everyone I met. When you’re as popular as I was a lot of times there are people who know you, but you don’t know who they are. I guess all famous people have that problem. . .Anyway, I go to this reunion, meet up with my old flame Tiffy who of course is totally dying to go out with me again (can you blame her?). Some of my other classmates were there: Bernie Duzalot the class president, Simon Reedlip, who apparently is some sort of rock star now and goes by the name Bobby Breedlove (roll eyes). He seemed a bit cocky to me. Oh, and Gina Gofar who was voted most likely to succeed, and who is now in prison! Ha! Maybe they should have voted for me!


Our class president Bernie Duzalot revs up the crowd

Mrs. Stonecipher boring us to death as usual.


Simon Reedlip, now going by his rock n roll stage name, Bobby Breedlove. Gimme a break.

Anyway, we eat and hang out and I’m making plans to get a limo after the show so that me and some of the ladies who’ve held up a bit better over the years can head out on the town, when things start to go wrong. First of all our old principal, Mrs. Stonecipher, who’s now like 90 years old turns up dead. We can’t figure out what happened. Then this guy Bobby Wobby who’s Gina’s parole officer appears out of the crowd and says we all have to stay put until we figure out who killed her. Then next thing you know, the lights go out, someone sticks a syringe in my neck, and a few minutes later. Bang. I’m dead.

What a loss to the world. At any rate, after that the rest of the play is my classmates trying to figure out who did me in, but I won’t go into that. It’s not that interesting anyway, since I’m not in it anymore. The only thing I can’t figure out is why someone would want to kill the most likable, most popular and successful, and good looking guy at the party—me! Jealousy, I guess. That’s what happened to all the greats—Lincoln, Kennedy, Lennon, Dickie Morgan. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

My sorry demise. Proof positive that envy kills, folks.

So that’s my take on Dickie Morgan.

Just a word about the pictures. The "before pictures" were taken a few weeks ago to be used as decorations on the night of play and also in our publicity posters. I thought "Holly" looks particularly fantastic as old Mrs. Stonecipher.

Since both my character and "Holly's" "died" halfway through the play we spent the rest of the performance hiding out--she up in the sound booth with Britni and me in the hotel kitchen where the cast members dragged me. I spent the final 45 minutes of the play sitting in the kitchen, listening to the play going on out in the ballroom, playing with my cell phone and waiting for the show to be over. The audience had the opportunity to vote on who the "killer" was, and the majority of the audience were able to figure it out--the clue was the color of the flower found in Mrs. Stonecipher's hand. It matched the flower of the "killer." The script actually allowed for three different endings with three different culprits and we learned all three endings. For the dress rehearsal at the school it was Bernie Duzalot, the class president, played by "Harry" and for our Sunday evening show, "Photobug" and "CK Girl" did rock, paper, scissors to decide which one would be the killer for that performance. "CK Girl" who played former cheerleader and ex-girlfriend of Dickie, ended up being the perp for our show that night.

The kids did a fantastic job, and stayed in character throughout the evening. It was a fun night!