Angry: Privilege: What It is; What It Isn't

Privilege. What an irritating word. White privilege. The lecturing tone that comes with it. The guilt being laid at your feet. The assumption that you are entitled, that life has been handed to you on a silver platter while all the dark folk around you struggle. The liberal, bleeding-heart earnestness that makes you ill. Ooh, and when someone sanctimoniously tells you to check your privilege? Oh no. It's about a loaded a term as it gets.

I don't think privilege means what a lot of people think it means. There are lot of great think pieces on this topic that explain it probably better than me. But this is my take, large portions of which have been taken from a private message discussion I had with an old and dear friend.

The short version means not having to think about the color of your skin (except for rare occasions, such as when you visit that awesome Baptist church with the rockin' music and powerful--but long--sermon). It doesn't mean that your life is easy or that you don't have any problems. It just means that your skin color isn't one of the things making your life difficult or causing problems for you. 

For example, if you are white, when you were looking for a house to buy I'm pretty sure you never thought "I'm glad to let my spouse take the lead in the house hunt that way I don't have to worry about not getting the house we want in certain neighborhoods." I did.

When you go running, you don't think: "I love to explore new neighborhoods on my run, but I think I'll stick to my same old route where people know me and might not think to call the cops."  I do. (I was advised by a friend, to just carry a gun when I go running...In what world is that a good idea--the practical aspects aside? God bless him, but I think his privilege was showing. The one thing black men have to hold on to when they get gunned down is that they were unarmed. Let that black man be armed and there will no question that cops--or the overzealous neighborhood watch--were unquestionably justified in taking lethal action).

You can see white privilege in a negative sense in the Amy Cooper video where she threatens the guy asking her to leash her dog by saying "I'm going to call the cops and tell them an African American man is threatening my life." You'll note in the exchange that she says she's going to call the police. He responds, "Please call the police. I want you to call the police." Then she ups the ante--you can totally hear it in her tone: Oh yeah, you want me to call the police? Sure about that? How about this? "I'm gonna call the police and tell them an African American man is threatening my life!" Cooper knew exactly how our society functions. I doubt Ms. Cooper is a card-carrying Klan member. She was simply angry and perhaps scared and new what weapons she had at her disposal. She knew the power that she had and she knew he knew.   Some years ago the anti-racist educator Jane Elliott asked a white audience if anyone would be willing to treated as black people are in this country. Not one hand went up (you can see the video here). Because everyone knew that was not going to be a fair trade. Time has passed, but I wonder how many white people would say today: "Hey times have changed. I'm up for the switch." Would you?

My approach in life is to always to assume the best in every interaction. I don't go around looking for racism. I assume that I will be treated fairly, and in general I usually am treated that way. But it's that little caution in the back of my mind that white people don't have to deal with that defines white privilege.   As a person of color what I've always envied about white people is the freedom they have to just be a person and not be defined by the color of their skin. When there's a white guy standing on the corner we say: "Who is that guy standing on the corner?" When it's a black guy, we say "Who is that black guy standing on the corner?" (Okay, to be fair it depends on the neighborhood, but you get my point.) I just want to be "that guy."  I experienced that for 11 years in Saipan and I have to tell you it was wonderful. It's not that people didn't know I was black. Of course they did (Well there was this one woman who thought I was Bangladeshi).  But it didn't matter. It wasn't how I was defined.  That freedom was one of the best things about living there.  

Another great way for white women to understand white privilege is to think about your experience as a woman. There are certain things I will never understand or experience. I have male privilege.  I have never ever worried about parking my car in a well lit area.  I have never ever given a thought to the clothes I'm wearing and whether they will give someone the "wrong impression" about what I'm up for.  I have never, not even once worried about being raped. That is completely foreign to me.  That's what privilege is. It's not my fault for having it.  I'm not wrong for having it. It just is.  But if, in my male privilege, I dismiss the #metoo movement as just a lot of whining women then that becomes a problem. Because I don't get it.   I don't understand the advantages that are conferred me just by virtue of my anatomy.

Here's a meme that misunderstands the concept of white privilege. You can find a lot of these types of memes when you google white privilege.  All of them make the mistake of equating privilege with wealth.

We tend to equate privilege with wealth, but that's not it. The assumption is that black people are poor (because racism) and white people are rich (because racism).  Of course that assumption is easy to dismantle, but while privilege often does manifest itself in economic inequities that's not the essence of what it is.  Jay-Z may have 99 problems (of which wealth and you know what ain't two), but a white man of equal wealth has only 98 problems. Though certainly wealth does bring with it privileges (as well as it's own set of problems), being poor doesn't mean you don't have racial or gender privilege and being rich doesn't mean you do.  While wealth (and fame, fame really helps) can mitigate the challenges of being a woman or being black (or being both), it can never fully inoculate you. You can be a world famous pop-star and still be violated. You can be an esteemed professor and still be profiled. 

Here's another meme that purports to "brutally expose" the "myth" of white privilege.

Well, since you asked.. .

 Besides the aforementioned emphasis on money, this meme suggest that race isn't the real determiner of who gets afforded a pass and who does not. I will grant that this meme is more sophisticated than the first, because it raises the question of whether differing treatment really is the result of race.  In a way I think it intends to undercut the message of this meme: 

The first meme questions the assumptions of the second. Is it really race that is the cause of these disparities? If so, then what are we to make of Willie Nelson?  I'll grant that you can't prove that Tanya McDowell was sentenced to five years because she was black. Arguably, it had as much or more to do with Huffman's deep pockets and the resulting type of representation she could afford that got her the slap on the wrist. Nevertheless, I think it would hard to plausibly argue that Willie Nelson got his assets seized because he was white, while Sharpton skated by on his skin color (Also, I'm pretty sure Rev. Sharpton is no longer welcome at the White House, ijs). There is however documented evidence that black defendants receive harsher sentences than their white counterparts for the same crime (See also )

You may say "I don't have any privilege, you have the same opportunities and advantages as I do."  Ironically, the goal is to make that statement true.  And I sometimes wonder if the real fear, deep down, that motivates some white people to insist there is no white privilege is the fear of losing white privilege. But that's for another post. . .