Last night Barbara and I went to see The Vagina Monologues. The play, originally written by Eve Ensler is performed all over the world, often by women in the community. In our case, the play was a production of Off the Beaten Path, an organization dedicated to bringing unique, thought-provoking shows and activities to the CNMI, and using the funds from these events to support local charities.
This is the second year that The Vagina Monologues has been produced here in the CNMI and I sense it may become an annual event.
Like most people, I’d heard of The Vagina Monologues but wasn’t sure exactly what it was all about. Well, beyond the obvious anyway. I was familiar with it as a kind of cultural punchline, and had the vague sense that it was probably anti-male, contained a lot of in-your-face shock value material, was mostly about sex, and had a lot of women shouting the word “vagina.” I knew that it was geared towards stopping violence against women. So, I went out of curiosity, I suppose. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about for myself. I also knew that I was supporting a good cause. The proceeds from the performance went to Guma Esperanzam the local women’s shelter, and to Connecting Families, Inc. another anti-family violence organization on Saipan.
It turned out to be an insightful and thought-provoking evening. It wasn’t anti-male. It wasn’t pro-male either. Men weren’t the focus at all. Women were. Much of the material was very frank, yes, but I didn’t get the sense that it was there just for shock value or to make the audience uncomfortable. I also found that this play isn’t exclusively about sex, anymore than women or their vaginas are exclusively about sex. Sex may be the only context in which we men deal with the vagina, but for women there is a lot more to the story. And yes, there was some shouting of the word “vagina” but only at the end!
So what insights did I glean? What thoughts were provoked in the mind of a man at the Monologues? (and I wasn’t the only man, I might add. While the majority of the audience were women there quite a number of men there—most in the company of wives and girlfriends--but some bravely on their own, including a group of fellows who plopped down right in the front row. Not what most men would choose for a night out with the guys so I gotta hand it to them!).
Well, for one thing I realized that men have no physiological or emotional reference point by which to relate to the experience of women. This is not a play where you think “Oh, yeah, I know how THAT is. We men have a similar experience.” This is a play where you sit quietly and learn; you put all the usual male opining, pontificating, and summarizing aside, because frankly, in this territory a man has no idea what he’s talking about.
I realized the extent to which we still live in a man’s world. We men still generally run the show. We set the agenda. We decide what’s important, what issues are worthy of discussion. Often, it is the male perspective that determines the behavior of women as well. We men decide what we find beautiful or attractive in women, and in the world in which we live, most women dutifully go along. The Vagina Monlogues is very much about women as they are—not the romanticized, media-created, male-oriented “ideal” we men may fantasize about. This is a production that addresses all the aspects of being a woman that men would rather not think about—I think largely because the experience is so foreign to us. And what is foreign to us we often find strange or disgusting. I think this may be why so many women respond to this play—this time women are setting the agenda, deciding what’s important. In this play women are talking about every day realities of being a woman that men (and yes some women) feel either don’t need to be or shouldn’t be talked about.
I think that every man that’s interested in gaining a better understanding of the experience of women should see this play. And really, every man should want to gain a better understanding so that means every man should see it. It has great value because you learn things in the play that I think women would like for men to know, but that few women would ever actually tell a man, simply because it would be too embarrassing or vulnerable to do so. I think that married men will find the play the easiest to relate to because they’ve already encountered and (hopefully) have a certain comfort level with the intimate realities of life with a woman. Single men may be in for more of shock, however, but the mere fact that this play might make you squirm in your seat a little bit is not reason enough to dismiss it. In fact, seeing the play may help disabuse single men of unrealistic expectations they may have of women, and better prepare them to spend their lives in an intimate relationship with a woman someday. The “educational value” of the play far outweighs the cost to your comfort zone.
In the back of some people’s minds, is the question: “Is this appropriate for Christians? I mean should Christians really be talking about vaginas?” It’s kind of ludicrous question if you think about it. Try answering this question: “Why not?” Last I checked God created male and female, so I guess He created the vagina as well. So yes, I believe it’s more than appropriate for a Christian. So next year when V-Day rolls around, be sure to check out The Vagina Monologues!
This is the second year that The Vagina Monologues has been produced here in the CNMI and I sense it may become an annual event.
Like most people, I’d heard of The Vagina Monologues but wasn’t sure exactly what it was all about. Well, beyond the obvious anyway. I was familiar with it as a kind of cultural punchline, and had the vague sense that it was probably anti-male, contained a lot of in-your-face shock value material, was mostly about sex, and had a lot of women shouting the word “vagina.” I knew that it was geared towards stopping violence against women. So, I went out of curiosity, I suppose. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about for myself. I also knew that I was supporting a good cause. The proceeds from the performance went to Guma Esperanzam the local women’s shelter, and to Connecting Families, Inc. another anti-family violence organization on Saipan.
It turned out to be an insightful and thought-provoking evening. It wasn’t anti-male. It wasn’t pro-male either. Men weren’t the focus at all. Women were. Much of the material was very frank, yes, but I didn’t get the sense that it was there just for shock value or to make the audience uncomfortable. I also found that this play isn’t exclusively about sex, anymore than women or their vaginas are exclusively about sex. Sex may be the only context in which we men deal with the vagina, but for women there is a lot more to the story. And yes, there was some shouting of the word “vagina” but only at the end!
So what insights did I glean? What thoughts were provoked in the mind of a man at the Monologues? (and I wasn’t the only man, I might add. While the majority of the audience were women there quite a number of men there—most in the company of wives and girlfriends--but some bravely on their own, including a group of fellows who plopped down right in the front row. Not what most men would choose for a night out with the guys so I gotta hand it to them!).
Well, for one thing I realized that men have no physiological or emotional reference point by which to relate to the experience of women. This is not a play where you think “Oh, yeah, I know how THAT is. We men have a similar experience.” This is a play where you sit quietly and learn; you put all the usual male opining, pontificating, and summarizing aside, because frankly, in this territory a man has no idea what he’s talking about.
I realized the extent to which we still live in a man’s world. We men still generally run the show. We set the agenda. We decide what’s important, what issues are worthy of discussion. Often, it is the male perspective that determines the behavior of women as well. We men decide what we find beautiful or attractive in women, and in the world in which we live, most women dutifully go along. The Vagina Monlogues is very much about women as they are—not the romanticized, media-created, male-oriented “ideal” we men may fantasize about. This is a production that addresses all the aspects of being a woman that men would rather not think about—I think largely because the experience is so foreign to us. And what is foreign to us we often find strange or disgusting. I think this may be why so many women respond to this play—this time women are setting the agenda, deciding what’s important. In this play women are talking about every day realities of being a woman that men (and yes some women) feel either don’t need to be or shouldn’t be talked about.
I think that every man that’s interested in gaining a better understanding of the experience of women should see this play. And really, every man should want to gain a better understanding so that means every man should see it. It has great value because you learn things in the play that I think women would like for men to know, but that few women would ever actually tell a man, simply because it would be too embarrassing or vulnerable to do so. I think that married men will find the play the easiest to relate to because they’ve already encountered and (hopefully) have a certain comfort level with the intimate realities of life with a woman. Single men may be in for more of shock, however, but the mere fact that this play might make you squirm in your seat a little bit is not reason enough to dismiss it. In fact, seeing the play may help disabuse single men of unrealistic expectations they may have of women, and better prepare them to spend their lives in an intimate relationship with a woman someday. The “educational value” of the play far outweighs the cost to your comfort zone.
In the back of some people’s minds, is the question: “Is this appropriate for Christians? I mean should Christians really be talking about vaginas?” It’s kind of ludicrous question if you think about it. Try answering this question: “Why not?” Last I checked God created male and female, so I guess He created the vagina as well. So yes, I believe it’s more than appropriate for a Christian. So next year when V-Day rolls around, be sure to check out The Vagina Monologues!
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