92: The One Where We Went As Friends

With friends, from Left, Pamela Foard and Geri Haupt, and my date, Chandra Maloney, who went with me "as friends." Junior-Senior Banquet, Sunday, March 22, 1992

 It took me more than twenty-five years to figure out that the Junior-Senior Banquet was supposed to be a kind of replacement for prom.  In the way that Adventists have their veggie meat, and Pathfinders instead of the Scouts, this was a kind of "veggie-prom", where the dancing was replaced with dining. Better the sin of gluttony, than of lust, I suppose?

I don't think the replacement really translated well though. I tended to focus more on the Valentine's Banquet as The Romantic Event of the Year.  If I hoped to get lucky (not really lucky mind you, not like prom night lucky, if you know what I mean), Valentines was where I expected it to happen.  I think all four years I plotted and schemed over who to invite to the Valentine's Banquet--generally someone with whom I hoped "something more" would develop.   While I had a nice time at the Valentines Banquets junior and senior year, the only thing that developed were new friendships--but nothing more than that.  And that was fine.

The future Mrs.  Fulford, Raelene McDowall was my date to the Valentines Banquet my senior (and her junior) year.

There seemed to be a lot less pressure on the Junior-Senior Banquet for some reason, and both junior and senior years I was content to go with my date "as friends" as we used to say.  Junior year was a bit fraught, as my intended date elected to run off with her boyfriend the night before the banquet, leaving me dateless. I don't recall being particularly mad about it--I guess I wished her well on her romantic escapade.  Thankfully, Anita Hodder stepped in at the last minute to be my date (as her boyfriend was a sophomore and wasn't allowed to go to the banquet) and we had fun time.

Me and Anita Hodder at the Junior-Senior Banquet, our junior year, Sunday, April 21, 1991

The banquet our junior year was held at some sort of plantation, I think.  We all thought it was a hoot to have the boys and girls switch roles for the official banquet photo.

In public schools, the kids head for the dance floor.  At Forest Lake Academy we made a beeline for the buffet table.  From Left to Right, J Carlos and Jennifer Everett, Sandra Rivas, Carissa Berard, Geri, Anita and Me. I'm almost certain Chandra was the one who took this photo and filled that empty chair.

For my senior year, I again decided to take my date "as friends."  And this time I didn't take a chance on inviting an acquaintance who might bail at the last minute. I asked my best friend, Chandra, to be my date and she happily agreed.

One of the risks of going with someone "as friends" though was the possibility that they might become more than friends with someone else and want to go with them instead. I was worried about this with Chandra (perhaps still a little gun shy from the previous year's debacle).  There  appeared to be some mutual interest developing between Chandra and another schoolmate and ten days before the banquet I raised the issue with her during A&P class.  We typically wrote notes to each other in my journal to avoid getting in trouble with Mr. Viar.  Here's our exchange:

Chandra, 

How are things going with ****. (I’m not asking to be nosy. There is a reason.)

What do you mean? Fine.

I mean is he still with that ‘other woman’  Yes.

Oh ok. Never mind.

Okay--No--tell me why.

Well I’m relieved personally for selfish reasons. I thought if

they broke up and you guys were getting together you’d want

to go with him to the banquet.

No--He’s still going with her, but even if he

wasn’t--I would still go with you.

It meant a lot to me that Chandra was willing to prioritize our friendship over a romantic possibility. And it turned out to be a really fun night.  Unfortunately, there’s not a lot I remember about the evening and I wrote only a few brief lines in my journal that day, noting: “Tonight was the banquet, Junior-Senior Banquet. I went with Chandra and we had a great time.”  The details are sketchy for the most part--Chandra’s mom reminisced on Facebook about how impressed she was that I came to the front door to pick up Chandra for our date, instead of coming through the garage like I usually did. I’d forgotten that.  We went to Medieval Times, the Middle-Ages themed dinner show restaurant. It wasn’t the most romantic venue, to be honest--watching jousting matches and sword fights while feasting on medieval food on rustic platters and drinking “ale” from tankards.  Even the official banquet photo was weird, with each couple posed up next to a plastic statue of King Henry the VIII glowering at us like an unhappy third wheel.

But the one thing I’m not hazy on is that I had a really, really good time. I had so much fun with Chandra. I realize now that Chandra had a great time with me too.  In 2020, when it was all the rage on social media to share high school photos of oneself in “honor” of those poor class of 2020 seniors, Chandra sent me a private message asking if I had a copy of our official banquet portrait that I’d be willing to share with her. That was the picture of her senior self that Chandra wanted to share with the world.  She posted it and reminisced on what a nice time that was.  I’m glad that evening meant so much to her. 

My "prom date." This was the photo Chandra asked me to send her.

What I remember most about that evening was actually the drive home. Chandra and I sat side by side on the shuttle. Raelene, my date to the Valentines Banquet just the month before, was sitting one row up and across from us and I remember exchanging sarcastic quips and joking insults with Raelene, while Chandra laughed and laughed. I remember I felt a jaunty confidence, a sharpness of wit, that came from feeling really safe. I felt safe with Chandra by my side and on my side.  That's the advantage of going to prom--veggie or not--as friends.

Some pictures of the other couples--and friends--at Junior-Senior Banquet, March 22, 1992:

Rees Franklin & Susan Scott.  They went "as friends."

Kristi Van Nostrand and Mark Niemeyer

Raelene McDowall, Jennifer Burrill, Lena McDowall (who was my Valentine's Date my junior year), and Susan Scott

Chris Cotta and Carissa Berard on the shuttle bus on the way to Medieval Times

Steve Jeffers and Jennifer Everett Jeffers.  They may be the only pair that went to Jr-Sr Banquet in 1992 that is a couple today.

Jeff O'Connor and Stacy Cotta