Finding Home

Suddenly David realized he didn’t know where he was.  It didn’t seem possible that one could get lost in one's own neighborhood, but then again this was a very large subdivision, with endless blocks of homes with vaulted ceilings and three car garages that all began to look the same when you weren’t really paying attention.  And David hadn’t been paying attention.

And also, David hadn’t done any running in the neighborhood until just recently even though he and Lauryn had bought their home there almost two years ago.  David hadn’t run much since college.

And also David hadn’t lived in his house for more than three months now--that’s how long he’d been separated from Lauryn.

And finally, David didn’t like to run by the house too much. He tried to time his runs when he knew Lauryn would still be at work.  He’d gotten in the habit of coming out for a run in the late afternoon before going back to the firm to work late into the night.  That way he could run and know she wouldn’t likely see him. But still, just to be on the safe side he’d only take a pass or two of the house before running up and down other streets in the vast, leafy, perfectly picturesque neighborhood.

He came here to run because he needed, in some small way, to hold on to the home he’d so carelessly lost.  He needed to see the gray siding and bright white trim, the brick driveway, the big windows Lauryn had fallen in love with.  He needed to imagine her still living there and hope she was still thinking of him.  He needed to find his way back.

But he also knew she might think him weak, pathetic, even creepy, so he tried to make sure she never saw him, which is why he ran away and how he ended up lost.

Breathing hard from the run he stood at the quiet intersection of a cul-de-sac very much like his own, but definitely not his, and tried to figure out where he’d come from and how he’d gotten here and how he could get back.

He was determined.  That was sure.  He was in it for however long it took; he would do whatever he had to.  She was worth it.  He knew that now.  He’d stopped paying attention. He’d gotten so lost inside his head that he’d wandered off course before he even realized it.  And now, now he must retrace his steps.  Find familiar landmarks amidst the numbing sameness. He could not give up in despair, not now.

And then as he stood there, a wet gust of wind blowing autumn leaves around his feet, the answer came to him.  So simple, he couldn’t believe it. He pulled out his phone and put in his home address. In seconds, the phone was telling him to turn left on Brookfield.  He was only 6 minutes away.

It turned out that finding the house he’d lost was easy.  Finding the home he’d lost would prove much more difficult.