The One Year Bible: The Problem of Pain

 

"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

                                                                                             --Westley, in The Princess Bride

Someone who has shown tremendous grace under pressure and a steady hand in spite of challenging circumstances is said to have the "patience of Job."  Indeed, Job is remembered for his patient longsuffering in the face of tremendous loss and pain.  But when I read Job, I don't find him to be all that patient. Job spends most of the book that bears his name protesting the unfairness of his suffering.

This week's reading was entirely back and forth monologues between Job and his three friends, Eliphaz, Zophar, and Bildad, and the week ends with the entrance of a mysterious fourth a person, the fiery and much younger Elihu.  The format is pretty straightforward.  Job complains about how unfair his suffering is, and how he has done nothing to deserve this.  His friends respond with variations on the theme that God is just, and therefore Job must have absolutely done something to deserve this, and his suffering is the punishment for that sin.  

My Favorite Verses:

• "If a man dies, will he live again?  All the days of my struggle, I will wait, until my change comes. Thou wilt call, and I will answer Thee; Thou wilt long for the work of Thy hands." Job 14:14-15 (NASB)
• "I could say the same things if you were in my place.  I could spout off criticism and shake my head at you.  But if it were me, I would encourage you. I would try to take away your grief." Job 16:4-5 (NLT)
• "But as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and He will stand upon the earth at last. And after my body has decayed, yet in my body I will see God! I will see Him for myself. Yes I will see Him with my own eyes. I am overwhelmed at the thought!" Job 19: 25-27 (NLT)
• "By His breath the heavens are cleared; His hand has pierced the fleeing serpent. Behold these are the fringes of his ways; And how a faint a word we hear from him! But His mighty thunder, who can understand?" Job 26:13-14 (NASB)
• Chapter 31, which is the end of Job's final defense (after this only the mysterious Elihu will speak, and then God Himself). Here Job lays out all the ways in which he has not sinned. It's an interesting insight into what constitutes living righteously and contains echoes of everything from the Ten Commandments to the Beatitudes to the parable of the sheep and the goats.  You get a strong sense of what God considers important in our conduct and in our relationship with with our fellow man. A lot of it has to do with how we treat those society is inclined to neglect.

Fun Fact:  Eli-Who?   

Elihu is an interesting character.  He just kind of "appears" at chapter 32 out of nowhere.  He says he was listening silently all along, so perhaps he was so quiet that the author of Job failed to mention him being there.  Some scholars believe the Elihu's lengthy diatribe was actually inserted into the book later on.  Others suggest that Elihu might have been the author of the book of Job himself.  At any rate, there is something different about him though this is not immediately apparent in what I read this week.  At first, he sounds not much different than Job's other friends.  He chastises the older counselors for failing to properly correct Job and assures them that he will do the job they failed to do. But what he has offered so far doesn't sound much different from what the others have said.  We'll see if that changes as I finish Job next week.

What Stuck With Me

Don't lecture people in pain.  The last thing hurting people need is advice or a lecture.  It's the one thing Job asks for over and over from his friends, that they would just stop lecturing him.  He points out that it is easy to critique someone else's struggle when you are not in it.  The best thing we can do is offer love, not answers.  Honestly, I'm weary of the truth-tellers, the folks always ready with an answer for everything (and I concede I've been that person more than I care to admit).  

Life is pain.  Be careful that you don't end up selling something. It's not that Job's counselors are  wrong.  There is a lot of truth to be plucked from their arguments. They're just wrong about Job. They are wrong in this context.  They want a simple, one size fits all solution to the problem of pain and there isn't one. We would do well to be cautious about rushing to God's defense, as Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar do.  Zealous defenders of the Lord often end up doing far more harm than good. In our eagerness to prove that God is just and good, we can end up denying uncomfortable realities and instead hawking a feel-good, simplistic "truth" that in end doesn't help when life takes a hard turn.

"Well sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace"

                         -- Rich Mullins "Hold Me Jesus" 

The One Year Bible: Hard to Get

Joe (Joseph and his brothers) and. . .

 

Jo (Job and his "comforters")

And I know You bore our sorrows

And I know You feel our pain
And I know that it would not hurt any less
Even if it could be explained
And I know that I am only lashing out
At the One who loves me most
And after I have figured this, somehow
What I really need to know is if

You who live in eternity
Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time?
We can't see what's ahead and we cannot get free from what we've left behind
I'm reeling from these voices that keep screamin' in my ears
All these words of shame and doubt, blame and regret
I can't see how You're leading me
Unless You've led me here
To where I'm lost enough to let myself be led

And so You've been here all along, I guess
It's just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get

                                                       --Rich Mullins "Hard to Get"

This week I finished the book of Genesis and began the book of Job.  You might be surprised that the chronological Bible "skips ahead" to Job, a book that thematically belongs with the books of poetry and wisdom at the center of the Old Testament. But Job is believed by scholars to be the oldest book in the Bible--actually the first one written--and is believed to take place around the time of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

I never really thought about it, but there are some parallels in the life of Joseph and Job.  Both were good people who suffered unfairly.  In Joseph's case he was the victim of jealous and selfish people.  In Job's case, he was the victim of the injustice of life. In both cases, the men are vindicated in the end and end up in a "better" place than they started. (I'll talk about those quotes around "better" in a future entry).  

Joseph's story doesn't stick in the craw the way Job's does though.  Job is a tough read--and in my opinion, the toughest parts are at the beginning of the story and at the end.  This week we'll talk about the beginning.

In short Job is living the good life until it all comes crashing down. He loses everything--his wealth, his health, and his children.  For me, it's the losing of his children that really stings. As a parent it is the thing I fear most (though I think through most of human history, losing a few kids along the way was almost a sad given. But even in those days, losing them all at once was a sharp blow).  Job doesn't realize that he's the lab rat in a cosmic experiment.  Satan has argued that the only reason that Job is such a paragon of virtue is because God has blessed him.  "Take it all away and you'll see he is not so righteous or so faithful after all," he sneers.  And so God, says okay--do your worst but don't take his life.  I always assumed that was a mercy on God's part, telling The Adversary that he must spare Job's life. But now I see that as part of the test too.  Job would have been only too happy to die--to have to keep living in the face of this suffering was something he resented.

The reason that this opening to the book of Job is so problematic is that God is willing to allow Job to suffer simply to prove a point. It's seems so cruel.  The idea that Job (or anyone's misfortune) is the result of a bet amongst supernatural beings is disturbing.  But this week I decided to consider what perhaps we think God should have done.

We could argue that God should not have brought up Job at all.  What if He'd simply avoided the controversy in the first place by not drawing Satan's attention to Job.  Or what if, He'd simply refused the challenge: "Nah, I don't need to prove anything to you.  I know Job's heart and that's all that matters. You can think what you want. I will not allow you to harm in any way."  Now there's a God of love, we might conclude.

And yes, that conclusion would be great for Job and for those of us looking to be reassured of God's love and fairness.  The book at one chapter with eleven verses would be the shortest in the Bible.  But it would also sidestep the core question which the book of Job sets out to address.  Because, if God had taken this route it would reinforce a view Job's friends, and even many today hold.  That God provides a hedge of protection around those who are faithful to Him. It's a kind of prosperity gospel. And that view runs right up against the hard reality that innocent people do suffer.  So even if God had not deigned to be baited by The Accuser, only one righteous man would have been spared.  What about all the others?  Why do they still suffer?  Isn't God essentially taking that bet any time someone  faces random tragedy?

And what if God extended His net of protection to everyone, so that we only suffered as the consequences of our own bad choices?  For the righteous there would be no sickness, no accidents,  no natural disasters, but also no murders, no abuse, no thefts (because the wicked would not be allowed to have their bad choices affect the righteous). I mean there'd still be death--but only when people got old (but how old is "old enough"?). But why even have death at all, for the righteous?  Why couldn't they just live forever?  It sounds like heaven doesn't it?  And I suppose that one day, we expect that is exactly the world we will live in.  After all, what is heaven if not a place where no one makes bad choices and God protects us from random tragedy?  Of course the question of who is righteous "enough" to qualify for God's Eternal Insurance Policy is a whole other discussion.

 But the author of Job isn't interested in wishing for a world we don't yet live in.  The book is focused on the world we live in now--where the innocent suffer.  And it's primary goal appears to be to dismantle the assumption that if something bad happens to you, it's because you somehow deserve it.  It is upending a simplistic understanding of the reason for suffering and replacing it with something that is more complex and unsatisfying, but also more honest.

The Highlights of Genesis 40-50, Job 1-11

• Joseph Interprets Dreams
• Joseph Saves the Day
• Joseph Forgives His Brothers
• Joseph Sticks it to the Little Guy (Wait. . .what?  See below in Fun Facts)
• Job is Living the Good Life (in every sense of the the word)
• Job is Put to the Test
• Job Hates His Life
• Job's Friend's "Comfort" Him

Fun Facts

• You know the story of Joseph and his technicolor dream coat.  You know the story of Joseph going from hero (in Potiphar's house) to zero (in prison on false charges) and back to hero again (second only to Pharaoh). But do you know the story of Joseph the corporate titan who enriched Pharaoh Inc. at the expense of the poor, hungry people of Egypt?  I didn't either!

• Did you know that sometimes a passage in the Bible says completely different things depending on the translation?  Here's a very small example from Genesis 49: 22.  In the New American Standard Bible it says "Joseph is a fruitful bough, a fruitful bough by a spring. It's branches run over a wall." A note indicates that the word "bough" can be translated son and "branches" translated daughters.  But then in the New Living Translation the same verse reads: "Joseph is the foal of a wild donkey, the foal of the wild donkey at a spring--one of the wild donkeys on the ridge" (the note acknowledges the version found in the NASB but says that meaning of the Hebrew is uncertain).  That's a phrase we probably should be a lot more cognizant of--especially among the "plain word of God" types:  "The meaning of the Hebrew is uncertain."  And this is far from the only example and there are times when a passage means one thing in one translation and means, not only something different, but something the opposite in another.

What Spoke To Me

I love the story of Joseph reconciling with his brothers in Egypt.  It's just one of my favorites. I love how everyone has grown so much, and how Joseph's brothers act so unselfishly and with such concern for their father. They've come along way, and they, as much as Joseph, are heroes in this portion of the story.

I am reminded that Job is an example to us--that it's not a sin to be sad and even depressed.  It's not wrong to recognize that life is unfair and to call it as such.  It's not a sin to be angry and frustrated with God.  It's important to recognize that it would not hurt any less even if  it could be explained. We might be lashing out at the One who loves us most.  But He's a big God.  He can take it. Sometimes He is just plain hard to get.  And that is okay.

Note: For those that clicked on the link to Rich Mullins bittersweet and beautiful "Hard to Get" and found the rough audio difficult to listen to, here's a studio version recorded by his band. (Rich Mullins was killed in a car wreck in September of 1997 before his next album, which would have included this song, could be recorded so all that was left behind was his initial demos for the album). I personally prefer Rich's demo.  The rough audio matches the feel of the song. Though to be honest I like the demos of Rich's last album far more than the polished star studded posthumous studio recordings by his bandmates and Christian music colleagues.  But then, if you haven't figured it out already I'm also a Rich Mullins superfan and I get that janky demo recordings may not be everyone's cup of tea.

The One Year Bible: The World as Best I Remember It

 

Jacob, he loved Rachel and Rachel, she loved him

And Leah was just there for dramatic effect
Well, it's right there in the Bible, so it must not be a sin
But it sure does seem like an awful dirty trick

                                        Rich Mullins, "Jacob and 2 Women"

This week, in my journey through the Bible, I read Genesis 23-to 39, with a few side trips to 1 Chronicles for the genealogies.  This week's reading was not dull, that's for sure.  There was plenty of drama! And of course Rich was being facetious when he said that what took place in these stories must not be a sin.  The  Rachel-Leah rivalry, the rape of Dinah, the story of Tamar and Judah--none of these stories are meant to be an example of Biblical principles of well. . .anything.  

But we do find perhaps our first real Bible hero in these chapters in Joseph (Or maybe the second--Noah was a pretty clean-cut guy, though he wouldn't cut it as in Adventist what with his getting drunk).  Joseph is the first main character in the Bible that really seems to be flawless. He is a man of absolute integrity and faithfulness--someone worth emulating. Okay he  might have been a bit spoiled as kid, and you get the sense he might have been a brat as a result.  But hey, nobody's perfect.

I like these stories because they remind me that God deals with us in the real world, not the sanitized version of reality we like to put on for church.  The world we find in Genesis is full of love and hate, jealousy and loyalty, family rifts and reconciliations, sex and violence. It is the world as it is or at least as best as it can be remembered.  And it's in that world that God meets us and calls us to Him.

Highlights of  Genesis 23-39

• Isaac & Rebekah
• Jacob & Esau
• Jacob & 2 Women
• Joseph is favored by his father, falls out of favor his brothers and is sold into slavery in Egypt

"Now Jacob got two women and a whole house full of kids

And he schemed his way back to the promised land
And he finds it's one thing to win 'em
And it's another to keep 'em content
When he knows that he is only just one man"

                                         --Rich Mullins, "Jacob and 2 Women"

What Stood Out to Me

• Like father, like son.  What is up with Abraham and Isaac and their hot wives?  Both of them did the same thing when in the territory of King Abimelech, lying and saying their wives were their sisters because they feared they'd be killed so that their wives could be taken from them.  Apparently they were less concerned with their wives being taken than their own skins.  Both Abraham and Isaac look pretty lame in these stories, and if I was King Abimelech after this happened the second time, I would have been like: "You know what, I really don't want anyone from your family coming back here ever again."
• I always kind of thought of Esau as the "bad guy" and Jacob as the "good guy."  But Jacob, frankly is kind of a weasel and seems to have integrity issues.  They are both pretty awful.
• I've been quick to argue that romantic love didn't have a place in Biblical marriages.  I always thought love marriages were more of a recent concept--in those days it was all transactional.  But in the story of Jacob's marriage to Leah and Rachel, romantic love plays a significant role.  Poor Leah, with the crazy eyes.
• "May the Lord watch between me and thee, while we are absent one from another, Amen."  How many times have we said this prayer to close out a meeting. It's sound so beautiful.  But what it really means is "May the Lord keep an eye you to make sure you don't mistreat my daughters, marry other women or renege on your promises. Cause I don't trust you."
• The rape of Dinah and the consequent slaying of her assailant Shechem and all the men in his family is an awful story.  Not too many sermons preached on this one. It's notable to me how Dinah's perspective on what happened is completely ignored.  Even though she was the one raped, it's all about her brothers and Shechem. I have no idea how Dinah felt. And I wonder, if Shechem really raped her--because he seemed to love her very much and desperately wanted to marry her--or if they simply had sex and the brothers treated that as rape. I guess we'll never know.
• Tamar, on the other hand. . .we know exactly what her perspective was.  She was not playing.  To me she is one of the most badass characters I've seen in the Bible so far. Is it okay for me to say that?  I can't think of a better way to describe her.  She was not about to allow herself to be shoved aside by these awful men.  She was due a child, and she was gonna get that child one way or another!  It was through Tamar that the royal line of David, and ultimately Jesus came.

Judah and Tamar

Fun Facts

• Did you know that Abraham remarried after the death of Sarah. His second wife was  named Keturah.
• Did  you know that Shem, the son of Noah, outlived Abraham?
• Did you know the Esau's parents Isaac and Rebekah couldn't stand his two wives?  One of the reasons Rebekah sent Jacob away (besides Esau wanting to kill him) was because she didn't want him marrying one of these miserable local ladies.  And Esau eventually went and got a third wife from Ishmael's family strictly because he knew his parents didn't like the first two.  I think Esau (and Jacob) need some serious therapy.  They have issues.
• Did you know the story of Tamar?  I'm guessing you didn't (unless you read the Francine Rivers novella about her). It's not a story told very often--I think I'd get kicked out of church if I told this one at children's story time.  Tamar's second husband, Onan, the brother of her first husband, did her dirty. It might not seem like a big deal in our culture today, but it was his responsibility to get Tamar pregnant on behalf of his deceased older brother who had died (struck down by the Lord according to the author of Genesis) so that his line could continue.  He didn't want to do it and so he "pulled out" to ensure she wouldn't get pregnant.  The Genesis account says God struck him down for his treatment of Tamar.  Over the years "Onanism" came to be a euphemism for masturbation, I guess because of the "wasted" semen (though I think they missed the point. Onan's crime wasn't pleasuring himself, it was denying Tamar--and his dead brother--what was rightfully theirs)  Then Judah, sent Tamar back to her parents, promising she'd marry his third and last son when he was old enough. However, Judah had no plans to have his youngest marry her because he didn't want him "struck down by the Lord" the way his other sons had been (To me Judah is kind of dense. It wasn't Tamar's fault.  His sons were jerks.)  Well Tamar figured out what was up and was all like "Oh helll no." I won't spoil the ending--but let's just say Tamar fixed it.  Check it out in Genesis 38, a nice little interlude in the story of Joseph that Uncle Arthur skipped right on over.

What Spoke to Me:

• While I sympathized with Jacob getting swindled into marrying  plain ol' Leah--after all the heart wants what it wants, I really felt for Leah.  And God did too. I like that God took special note of her because she wasn't loved by Jacob.

The One Year Bible: Questions in Genesis

 

Hagar and Ishmael: My favorite story in the first half of Genesis

This year I'm embarking on a new spiritual journey.  I've decided to read the Bible through in a single year.  I got the idea from my friend Lisa who recently got a One Year Bible.  I found an online One Year Bible and began my journey on the January 2.

I've read the Bible through several times, but it's always taken me a long time--like years to do it.  Reading this way is a different experience.  I think it's easy to miss a lot of the "big picture" of the Bible when you only read it in snippets.  And I suspect that many of us mostly read the Bible that way--in carefully  selected verses with a tidy little lesson or message attached, or in chain referenced Bible studies with proof texts designed to lead us to certain theological conclusions.  When we read this way it's easy to see what we want to see and gloss over what we don't.  We can skip over the more problematic passages--maybe not even realizing they are there at all.

But here's the thing about the Bible. It's no Max Lucado devotional or Amazing Facts Bible Study.  If it were a movie it would be rated R for graphic violence, sexual situations, nudity, and adult themes.  It's not a book for children.  It's rough, vivid, frank, and foreign. It is jarring at times, and for a good reason.  We are reading a document that was written over thousands of years by and for people of a very different culture from our own. Oh and let's not forget we're not reading it in the original language either. I think one of the most dangerous things we can do is assume that the Bible was written with our cultural lenses, modern understanding, and use of language and interpret it accordingly.

This is not to say that the Bible is then without value.  It's a very modern attitude that says if it's old it's of no use. I find the Bible a seemingly endless treasure chest. I find new things all the time.  But I do think that we need to approach the Scriptures with greater humility.  Not just the "God said it, I believe it" type humility (an attitude which doesn't really seem that humble), but the humility that says "I  am not always sure what God  is saying here, but I trust Him."  We need to be especially careful about drawing strong conclusions about what the Bible says when those conclusions paint God in a negative light or  when those conclusions conveniently support our preexisting biases and cause us to feel-- regretfully and "lovingly" of course--compelled to condemn marginalized people in the service of "truth."  I wrote about the dangers of certainty and the value of uncertainty back in 2014 in entry entitled The Uncertainty Principle.

So I  have this idea that I'd like to post an entry once a week with reflections on my reading from the past week.  I'll be honest and admit I'm not sure I can keep up with this (though if I could do an entry every three days for the first six months of the pandemic, this ought to be easy) or if I want to (I don't want to end up having my devotional time become more about planning the next blog post than communing with God).  We'll see how it goes.  

For now, here's a few thoughts on the reading for the January 1-7, which covers Genesis 1-23 (with some side trips to 1 Chronicles. The One Year Bible is chronological, so the ancestry lists later in the Old Testament are included here also).

I think the answers you find in Genesis depend on the questions you're asking.  Certain answers will pop into the foreground, while others fade into the background, seemingly less important. For Jews, Genesis is the origin story. It answers the questions of where they came from and why they are here--as a people and as a faith.  For Christians, Genesis is backstory. We look for hints and clues to the coming Messiah, stories that foreshadow Jesus.  For the skeptic, Genesis is is just story.   They may be looking for the flaws and holes, the logical inconsistencies--and there are plenty.

No matter how what question you bring to Genesis, in my view if you're reading it right, you'll come away with perhaps more questions than answers.  And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Indeed having a lot of questions in the spiritual arena is perhaps safer than being sure you have all the answers.

The Highlights of the first half of Genesis:

• Creation
• The Fall
• The Flood
• Abraham

What stood out to me:

• The cultural theme of childbearing for women. It was a big deal.  To not have a child in that culture was the worst possible thing for a woman. And some women went to extreme measures to ensure they got those children (See Lot's daughters). 
• The cultural theme of hospitality and treatment of strangers. The great crime of Sodom and Gomorrah seems to be their utter disregard for and willingness to mistreat strangers, and Lot is clearly seen as a hero for being willing to do whatever it takes to protect the guests in his home even if it means sacrificing his daughters. (There are a whole LOT of problematic aspects of the story of Lot). 
• Abraham like most Biblical characters is flawed and complex.  If we are to hold him up as an example, it's not because he was this perfect guy, but because of his trust in God and willingness to go where God led him.
• I'm not sure that Genesis, at least so far, is a great place for guidance on marriage or sexual behavior. "Biblical" principles on these subjects based on just Genesis (which yes, I know we don't base it on one book) would seem to include concubines and incest in emergency situations. There are many more stories about heterosexual behavior than that one mention of  potential same-sex gang rape and I wouldn't suggest we follow any of those examples.

What spoke to me:

• The story of Hagar, Sarah's servant, who gave birth to Abraham's first son, Ishmael. This is perhaps my favorite story that I read this week. I like that Hagar, though not considered to be the mother of the "son of promise" was not forgotten by God. She called Him "The God Who Sees Me" and her son's name means "God Hears." Twice, Hagar was sent away and twice God found her in her extremity and let her know that she was seen.  God makes it clear that He is the God of the forgotten as well as the chosen. 
• Abraham and Isaac on the mountain. I wrote about this difficult story and how I made peace with it way back in 2007.  You can read it here. The short version is that the point of this story isn't Abraham's obedience (though he did obey) but his trust (which is why he obeyed).  And the lesson about God isn't is His arbitrary commands (though He did command), it's about His provision (which the command enabled Him to demonstrate in unforgettable fashion).

That's all for now.  I'll post more later as my journey through the Bible in one year continues.

92: The One for Matthew

 By Jeff Fulford

I’m a Tampa boy who became good friends with two Walker boys Mark and Matthew. Through our rival schools, FLA camp meetings, FLA, and Southern College I became close to both of them. I roomed with Mark my Senior year at FLA and did a lot of outings with both Mark and Matthew. One memorable time was going to North Carolina after graduation and staying in Dean Wolcott’s cabin with Mark, Matthew, Rusty, and Praveen. We shot guns, watched movies, went “dam” fishing, and talked about life. We were young and felt life would be forever. Life took us all in separate directions after that trip except for Matthew and I went on to Southern College. Matthew and I were chemistry lab partners and we studied together for other classes. We both went on to Loma Linda University in which I studied physical therapy and he studied medicine.

I remember his positivity and his signature laugh. He was always ready to help out when needed and wasn’t afraid to be himself. I cherish all those memories and many more. Life is precious and short. Even though life takes us in different directions the impact one person has on many are vast. Reflecting back on the life Matthew lead he inspired many to be good people. I feel blessed to have been in his circle of friends. We truly have lost someone special.

Fifteen Years; 150 Inspiring People

Above from 2007, the first person ever on my list of inspirational heroes, Britni Gleason Rampton and below from 2021, the most recent addition, Charlene Cordon Maloney, pictured here with her daughter Chandra (who herself was a nominee in 2020). Charlene and Britni share an interesting similarity.  They are both from Texas!

This past Thursday, December 30, 2021, I was out for an afternoon run.  As I was running I was mulling over how I should spend New Years Eve, the following night. 

New Years Eve for me has typically been a pretty lackluster affair over the years, going all the way back to high school. It's so bad, that one year I actually started writing a short story based on the theme of the disappointing New Years Eve.  It's not that it's ever been so awful--just never very exciting. There have been a few exceptions. New Years Eve 1999, which we spent in Saipan, was pretty great.  Like 2021, it landed on a Friday night and after a Friday evening church service, a bunch of us went up to Mt. Topachau, the highest point on the island and rang in the New Year (and the new century, AND the new millennium) waiting to see if  the island would be plunged into darkness with the arrival of Y2K and then watching all the fireworks on the island as well as those of neighboring Tinian all at once.  That was quite memorable, and we did something similar on New Years Eve 2008.  The next year, was also fun.  We spent it with our friends Aaron and Joyce Knowlton, Kathy Stair, and Tin Tin Win  hanging out at Hard Rock Cafe Saipan.  And one year--I can't remember which, but it also was in Saipan--started out pretty bad with Babs and I fighting over what to do for the evening and then turned out lovely when we ended up at a poolside party at one of the local hotels.  That New Years Eve, I actually did write a story about!

But beyond those exceptions,  most of our New Years have been spent parked in front of the TV watching other people celebrate.  This year, I thought to myself as I trotted along, I want to do something different.  Since 2014 I'd made a tradition of releasing my annual list of heroes and inspirations on my blog on New Years Eve.  I'd long dreamed of getting my heroes together in one room.  I pictured these people from different arenas of my life coming together, dressed in smart tuxes and fancy dresses, sipping drinks and sampling hors de oeuvres.  There would be special numbers by Mat Kearney, Crystal Bowersox, and Shameika Stepney.  Tara Westover, Barak Obama, and Rafe Esquith would make short speeches. It would be awesome.  But of course that was just a fantasy.

But maybe if I couldn't get my heroes in the same room, perhaps I could get them in the same Zoom!  And so my plan for New Years Eve 2021 was born. As soon as I got back from my run I started firing off invitations to all 150 people that I'd selected as my heroes over the past fifteen years.  It took awhile--in fact, I didn't finish inviting everyone (except for the famous people--if I'd had more time, I might have even sent them long shot invites, after all what did I have to lose) until mid-afternoon on New Years Eve.

I have to admit, almost as soon as I started sending invites, I was gripped by sudden insecurity.  Maybe this was a dumb idea.  Maybe people would feel awkward to come--I've found that most of the people who inspire me tend be pretty humble--and maybe they'd feel uncomfortable being lauded in front of a bunch of strangers.  Maybe nobody would come.  But I'd already started inviting people so there was nothing for it, but to keep on sending the invites.  I wasn't sure what the evening would look like.  I pictured a few people dropping in from time to time in the final hours of 2021.  I figured there'd be plenty of time to just catch up.  And frankly, a big part of my motivation for hosting this event was selfish.  Sure I wanted to express my appreciation for people who had inspired me--but mainly I wanted to hang out with a lot of people I hadn't seen in awhile.  The evening was as much for me as it was for them.

Well, it turned out a lot better than I could have ever hoped for.  44 people, almost a third of the people I'd nominated ended up turning up, which I think I was pretty good.  The evening began at 7:00 PM with a tribute to my former colleague, Larry Stewart, who, because he passed away in 2018, was represented by his son Julian.  From there it went pretty much nonstop with people coming in until about 11:45 PM that night.  Barbara and I finally got off the call a little after 1 AM after spending precious time after everyone else had left, catching up with our dear friend and former colleague from Saipan, Jessica Lee. Throughout the evening many stuck around for a couple of hours just listening to the stories and tributes to some really inspiring folks.  Whether they were able to attend or not, I found myself more grateful than ever for the wonderful human beings God has placed in my life over the years. 

The truth is on many days I battle cynicism about people (including myself).  People can be so awful.  We hurt each other, out of our own pain, our selfishness, our pride. I'll hear people make comments like "I hate humans" and. "People are toxic" And. . .I get it.  I feel that way too sometimes.  But just as we all demonstrate our fallen nature, there are many that reflect the spirit of God's love as well too. It really boils down, I think, to what we choose to focus on and who we choose to surround ourselves with.  No one is perfect.  That's a fact. But everyone matters.  Everyone is making a difference. And I see a lot of people that are making a positive  difference.  It makes me feel good to recognize those people in my life. One of the 2021 heroes told me when I informed her I'd nominated her that "I've never received a tribute before"--which was shocking to me, because a person this remarkable should have a wall full of tributes by now!  That's why I do this. People need to know that they are seen, that they matter, and that they are appreciated.  We are quick to do that after they're gone, but I think there's such value in letting them know while they can still hear it (There's always a twinge of sadness for the people on my list like Mr. Stewart, Rex Kosack, Chandra Maloney, Matthew Niemeyer, my grandma, and my father-in-law among others who never got to hear from me how much they inspired me).  And I have found that even though recognizing my heroes makes them feel good, it makes me feel even better.

I hope the heroes I've recognized and everyone who reads about them will be encouraged to think about the heroes in their life and find a way to let them know what an inspiration they've been.  Doing so makes us all feel a bit more hopeful as we face a brand new year.

 For fifteen years, I've been recognizing the heroes in my life.  If you want to meet some truly amazing people, take some time to browse through the links below to read how these wonderful folks inspired me. I think you'll be inspired too.

2007

This was my first list, tagged on to the end of a months long blog series on the people who have had the greatest influence in my life (You can check out the inaugural post in that series at My Personal Influences: 65 People Who Made A Difference in My Life ).  It's worth noting that some of my biggest heroes--people like my mom, my grandpa, my friend J Carlos, my uncles--were never on an "official" heroes list because I had already honored them in my Influences series.  Likewise some people on the Influences series like Chris Cotta, Chandra Maloney, my grandma, my sister, the Kosack's and Dr. LaBianca ended up reappearing on later Inspirations lists.

Britni Gleason Rampton
Aya Sato
Adam Palacios (under the pseudonym "Harry" )
Keisha Paez (First Nomination)
Aya Kito
Eric Mahinay
"Yolland"
Russ & Kanae Quinn
Mai Rhea Odiyar
Vernon Luthas
Ken Pierson
Virleshay Gayatin

2008

Most of the people who inspire me are people I know personally.  But over the years, on occasion I'll find famous names that inspire me as well.  In my second Inspirations list, two people who I don't know personally but who are renowned within their sphere of influence, made my list--Rafe Esquith a highly regarded educator and Tina Sablan, a local politician and activist in the Northern Marianas Islands.

Jessica Lee
Eliki Ravia
AJ Kelly
Beverly Cabanatan
Jimmy & Isa Arriola
Judith Edwards
Cui Xian Xian (under the pseudonym "CK Girl")
Rafe Esquith
Tina Sablan

2009

In 2009, I ran the San Francisco Marathon and I dedicated each of the 26 miles of the race to a different person. Everyone on my Third Annual Inspirations list had a mile dedicated to them.

Carol Paez
Joy Lacorte (under the pseudonym "J", First Nomination)
Rolly Verzon
Virleshay Gayatin & Amy Foote (Virle's Second Nomination)
Gene Brock
Natalia Paez (under the pseudonym "Little Sister")
John Carlos
Barbara Leen Maycock (First Nomination)
Elijah Maycock (First Nomination)

2010

Carol Leen
Angiemil Perez
Sharla Schroeder & Cyndi Rearrick
Indigo White (under the pseudonym "Deep Blue")
Crystal Bowersox

2011

This was the first year that I chose someone whose inspiring actions had taken place a long time ago.  Since then that practice has been rare but I have a feeling may become more common.  The person in this case was Faith Grant who's simple action some 17 years earlier changed the course of my life. 

Bunnie James-Mason
Priscilla Konama (under the pseudonym "The Rose")
Keisha Paez (Second Nomination)
Carrie Oetman
Faith Grant 

2012

Since my first Heroes and Inspirations list, I quietly decided that each year I would include at least one former student on my list. I have a rule that I do not honor students who are currently in my class because I don't want any students that I'm teaching to feel that I have singled out one of their classmates above the rest of them.  Until 2012, I always gave those students a pseudonym.  Beginning in 2012 with Benin "BJ" Lee I ended that practice.

Pastor Joel Johnson
Wayna Gray
Meghan Vogel
Mat Kearney
Aaron Knowlton
Poupa Marashi
Benin Lee II
Pat Fountain

2013

This past summer I watched a documentary series on the life and exploits of Garrett McNamara and I have to say I came away even more inspired than I  was back in 2013.  The series is called 100 Foot Wave and it is very, very good and quite thought provoking.

Garrett McNamara
Dr. Todd Whitaker
Tasheet Wallang
Marc Lavalas
Heather Rice

2014

This was the first year that I nominated someone posthumously: My dear father-in-law William Leen and my grandma, Enid Thomson. Unfortunately they were not the last.  Beth Michaels, Lawrence Stewart, Chandra Maloney Rudisaile, Matthew Niemeyer, and Rex Kosack share that distinction.  Vernon Luthas, Dick Hoyt, and Grace Carlos have also passed away since I nominated but I'm grateful that they were still alive when I recognized them. 

This is also the first year that I shifted my Inspirations post to New Years Eve, where it has remained since. I'm not sure why I waited so long that year, but the end-of -year posting enabled me to include Dad and Grandma who had both died in November.  Prior to that the list usually came out in the summer months (thought the first one in 2007 was posted in November).

Paul Wood
Tamaria Kulemeka (First Nomination)
Ruth-Ann Thompson
Dick & Rick Hoyt
Keith Rodman
Andrews Acheampong
William Leen &  Enid Thomson
Joy Lacorte (Second Nomination)
Ezra Maycock (First Nomination)

2015

Valerie Green kicked off what I call the "Green Years."  Four consecutive years in which a different member of her family was nominated to my list. In addition to Valerie, her mother and two of her children would make the list.  What a great family!

Shawn Robinson & Sonya Hart
Anastasia Bailey (First Nomination)
Andrea Offei
Dawn Maycock Brothers
Jessica Peterson
Valerie Green
Dr. Donald Burden

2016

This year featured three nominations that were shared with more than one person.  The six members of the Prouty family, a trio of former students, and a married couple. I hope no one feels that their nomination was "lumped together" but when more than one person inspires me for the same reason in a given year, it makes sense to recognize them together. It's always been important to me that this never become an exercise in flattery and ego stroking.  I feel like a co-nomination from the heart is more meaningful than trying to come up with different ways of saying the same thing so each person can have their "own" nomination. The largest group of co-nominees would come in 2020 when I nominated my entire former 8th grade class. 

The Prouty Family: Alex, Marga, Genna, Asher, Eva, Joey
Brianna Raymond, Aaron Wimberly, & El-Ryck Kendrick (El-Ryck's First Nomination)
Michael Wimberly
Beth Michaels
Shirley Benton
Albert & Anastasia Bailey (Anastasia's Second Nomination)
Pamela Foard Wollard
Barack Obama

2017

Dr. James Appel
Jasmyn Green
El-Ryck Kendrick (Second Nomination)
Pastor Bob McGhee

2018

Jordan Green
Tiana Rhodes-Washington
Dalane Crawford II
Lawrence Stewart
Larry Brooks
Lisa Lavalas
Thomas Slocum III
Belvia Jackson

2019

Sam Ulett
Christian Stepney
Roy Rutter
Tara Westover
Grace Carlos
Elijah Maycock (Second Nomination)
Fred Rogers

2020

Janviere Lavender & Tamaria Kulemeka (Second Nomination for Tamaria)

Amy Acton & Mike DeWine

The CAA 8th Grade Class of 2020

Chris Cotta

Barbara Leen Maycock (Second Nomination)

Chimwemwe Kulemeka

Evelyn Fordham Goodman

Grant Graves & Dallas Jenkins

Chandra Maloney Rudisaile

Lisa Ortner McNeill

Elizabeth Sanders Towns

Ezra Maycock (Second Nomination)

Shameika Stepney

2021

Jeremy Wong

Dayshawn Stanford

Afia Ossei-Wusu

DeLaina Cox

Matthew Niemeyer

Rex & Clarie Kosack

John Abbott

Barbara Leen Maycock

Charlene Maloney